Baby's Got Back

Do me a favor:  Google Image "worst bruise ever" and take a good hearty look at picture #3 (blue pants).

That would be my butt.  That image references a post I wrote about falling off of a cliff many moons ago.  In the past 3 to 4 months I have moved from picture #5 to picture #3.  And let's be honest, picture #1 and #2 do not even come remotely close to the majesty of my butt bruise.  EIGHT FOOT CLIFF PEOPLE.

FEAR THE ICE LUGE

I could be mortified that my derriere has taken off with such popularity but instead I really want to claim that #1 spot.  I deserve it.  I still have nerve damage and a lump of scar tissue that is just a bit to easy to find within the fat muscle of my bum.  I bet Ms. 126 lbs. Goal 121 lbs. of #2 & #3 notoriety doesn't have scar tissue!  Plus, I haven't been 126 lbs. since I was maybe 11.  So there's that.

Anyway, I'm not sure if the Google Image God's are watching but DO THE RIGHT THING.  The worst bruise ever should mortify and not require arrows.  Please?  Throw a starving Grad Student a bone - or a butt (see what I did there?).

In other news, Happy New Year.  I have some new Love Handles I've acquired after a 10 day journey in the Greater Boston Area.  That's what bacon two to three times a day will do to you.  I'm hoping to be back to a normal pre-holiday yet still Festively Slowed Down Metabolism Size within a week.  Fingers crossed.

UPDATE: I AM NOW NUMBER 2 ON GOOGLE IMAGE.  Sweet victory is almost mine!!